Bad sex

Is there such a thing? My hunch is that most men would say no and most women would say yes. As does the Literary Review. In 1993 the then editor, my hero Auberon Waugh, established the Bad Sex award to highlight – and discourage – the “crude, tasteless, and often perfunctory use of redundant passages of sexual description in contemporary novels”.

The nominees were always novelists until Tony Blair was nominated for his 2010 autobiography, A Journey, for this passage:

On that night of 12 May 1994, I needed that love Cherie gave me, selfishly. I devoured it to give me strength. I was an animal following my instinct .

Ladies and gentlemen, this year’s winner:

David Guterson, the novelist who rewrote the Oedipus myth as if it was set in the 20th century, has been given the dubious honour of being awarded the annual Bad Sex prize. 

Guterson, the American novelist most famous for his best-selling Snow Falling on Cedars, was given the accolade for his fifth book Ed King, a modern reworking of the Greek legend.

Judges were said to be impressed by his over-reliance on terms such as “family jewels”, “back door” and “front parlour” during a sex scene between mother and son.

They said the terms made him the clear winner.

His award was announced at the In & Out Club in London by Carry On star Barbara Windsor.