Cow comfort farm

Stuff reports:

Cow comfort has become a key concern for farmers in the US, who have known for generations that contented cows give more milk. The traditional techniques for keeping cows happy aren't complicated – feed them well, keep the temperature comfortable and give them room to move around. But some dairy farmers are turning to a new array of creative options intended to keep cows as mellow – and productive – as possible.

Right. So how does one pamper a dairy cow?

Some farmers have installed waterbeds for their cows to rest on, while others play classical music. And some hire animal chiropractors to give older cows a tuneup and correct minor issues in calves, all part of the effort to ensure maximum milk output.

I know what you’re thinking:

Do the methods really work?

Good question. 

There’s no sound scientific data to back up the claims, but dairy farmers say they can see the difference with their own eyes – cows are giving more milk, the milk quality is improving and the herds seem to be enjoying the indulgences.

No “sound scientific data”? WTF? “Cows are giving more milk” is measurable; “the milk quality is improving” is measurable. This is what farmers do – measure stuff, to get data. If the story doesn’t give the data, that means the data do not support the claims. Which is not surprising, really.

But wait, there is more: 

And some dairy producers have employed even more unusual techniques [. . .] In Germany, for example, the Dortmund Concert Hall plays recordings of different classical pieces for specific cows. The hall then serves milk from the respective cows during live concerts featuring those same pieces.

 “Which means you’ll now be able to both listen to and taste the musical highlights,” the hall says in one advertisement.

You’d think they’d try Bruce Springsteen’s “Jersey Girl”. Or Pink Floyd’s Atom Heart Mother, the most Friesian-friendly album ever.

So here are Cream in 1967 ripping off Albert King, but doing it in style: