LIFE
WITH JIM
Whizzing toward the top floor, the Beehive
lifts emit a pained wheeze – the voice of the modern elevator. It speaks of
conflict between accelerator and brake. Upon arrival, the racket cuts out, and
riders are cast into a very quiet foyer, which is notable for its cuties behind
the reception desk, an Economist
cover picturing a gravestone and the caption “Communism II – It Lives!”, and
its cloak-and-dagger air.
Everywhere, there are doors. Every few
minutes, a pair of these open and a suit glides out. Its occupant has a look at
whatever’s in reception, then coasts through to another set of doors. Whoosh.
One such wayfarer is Therese Anders, Senior Press Secretary. She comes in very
quietly. She also comes with news. The PM is on the phone, so he’s a little
behind. Before there’s time to kick up a stink we’re in the middle of a
dialogue about my life story, which is not a bad yarn.
Next, we’re talking about office
redecoration. As you will know, this comes in near the top of the list of
delicate topics of this decade, no mean feat. It certainly explains why Anders
takes care to point out a hoary old sofa. It is peach and it is heinous, and it
is reflecting badly on our winning team. “This is what dignitaries have to sit
on,” she says, rolling her eyes.
What they have to listen to is just around
the corner, wearing a dark suit, a pair of light-rimmed glasses and an
expression which suggests a short fuse or a long day. Then again, it may just
be that this year so far is getting badly on his nerves. Let’s look at what we
have here. No – let’s look at what we don’t. The America’s Cup and the French
and their tests – but now they’ve gone. People want action on crime and mental
health. It’s uphill stuff, and all he might end with is a grinning hippie,
standing in his jandals in this very office, sharing the glory after MMP. A
tunnel at the end of the light, as they say.
Still, our leader wouldn’t be our leader if
he couldn’t stay on the horse, and the boys have certainly got him organised.
Here, for example, is Jim at the opening of the refurbished government
buildings. Here he is again, at the Sky City casino. In the flesh, steely eye
contact and a no-nonsense, deliberate oratory are the features of his presentation,
and I don’t see that changing in a hurry. We haven’t lost, as cricketers say,
until they’ve won.
Interviewing him is a good way to find out
nothing at all about anything much, but the thing to do is ride in fast,
preferably on your high horse. After all, we’re talking higher ideals here.
To give up talking to Jim because he never
says anything and you’re not always sure what he means when he does would be to
let him off a hook you know he should be on. There is also always the
possibility that real life might come through with a God-sent definitive moment
and it is possibly with this in mind that our leader begins the afternoon by
poking his head out of his door demanding a coffee. His tone, if I may be so
bold, is execrable, and it adds a further dimension to the picture of a
successful shit in a suit that he and the guys have been working on since the
coming of big business made it groovy.
Cosmic. Everyone – interviewer, interviewee
and Anders – takes a seat. Today’s subject is New Zealand’s future and so the
PM breathes in and begins. “If we continue with rational government
decision-making, there is no doubt in my mind that society in 20 years’ time
blah blah blah blah.”
He consolidates his remarks by quoting
publications which add facts and figures to the dream, or by embarking on
personal anecdotes, which add him to it. It’s not a bad approach, because it
doesn’t allow a lot of room for interruptions. Come to think of it, it doesn’t
allow a lot of room for questions either.
“Just let me add something here,” he will
say, if someone attempts to slip one in. “Just let me finish”. He is in charge
and a total pro with it. Ten points, is all I can say. Absolutely no
information passes between us, and in fact, the afternoon’s only real tragedy
is that about 10 minutes into the performance, the entire construct is in
tatters. “Nobody’s got my coffee,” the PM says, looking round. He’s right, you
know. Nobody has. You’d never wait this long in a cafe.
Anders races out to see to the situation,
but it’s all starting to feel a bit hopeless. Our leader’s mouth is now a tight
line, but this is one guy who has been around, and if he knows anything, it’s
to get back into the story. He does exactly that, and soon we’re off again. We
need sensible management systems set up sensibly alongside sensible accounting
systems or something to that effect – probably there’s a name for it – and New
Zealand’s happy tomorrow calls for more of the same. Casing distant shores for
lolly is the basic idea here and our man at the top feels the opportunities on
this front are endless.
“The only thing we have,” he says, pressing
the tips of his fingers together, and sending the steely gaze over the
resulting pyramid, “is no shortage of markets.” The Asia-Pacific region ignites
an especial fire in his eye – that great riddle of a region, laid low for a
while by foreign embargoes and a long run of autocratic nutters, but happily
emerging from the coma in recent times, hanging out for telephones and full of
little shoppers. Get into it, New Zealand.
It’s all part of the vision Jim has of our
little land as sophisticated global player, the hands of which will be joined
across the water by free trade, multinational corporations, and of course, the
Net.
And so on the PM speaks, verifying each
passing moment that the most impressive aspect of this ideology is the extent
of its grip.
Outside, Wellington’s most recent
acquisition, the black tropical cloud, begins to move in. It’s still and very
hot. Inside the players continue to work through it, although to tell the
truth, I think we’ve all had enough. Anders sits quietly in her seat, doing her
unobtrusive best to fade into it. The PM drinks his coffee and explains what
markets do to people who make them cross. The only real hope now is that an SIS
boy, also asleep, will crash into the room from a vent.
Other than that, all today’s story has to
offer by way of hope, depth or even entertainment is its holes.
“Globalisation,” Jim says at one point, grinning across his fingers. “Terrible
word.”
Anders grins as well and for a few seconds,
the atmosphere in the room improves as a little group fun is poked at the
dream’s jargon. Heh heh heh.
On the other hand, he’ll deliver a line
like “we see nothing but a forward trend-line” and nobody laughs at all. Okay,
so discovering contradictions in this milieu isn’t much of a find, but at least
it serves to remind that the truth in the end will out.
What am I saying? “And there was personal
humanity,” Saul Bellow once wrote, “a fringe receding before the worldwide
process of consolidation. This process might seem too crude to be taken
seriously, but don’t kid yourself, it was shaping the future.”
Interestingly enough, Jim speaks as
emphatically on social issues as he does on other topics, which is certainly
saying something. “Society,” he says, “will be BETTER materially and better in
terms of knowledge.” He describes crime as “one of the difficult aspects of a
society that... ah ... well... I guess most of the Western World,” but points
to police as a plus. “Let me give you an example of my home town of Te Kuiti,”
he begins. “They have put in what they call a curfew.”
So they have, although the point I want to
make is that may not be the point. The point is that lining the streets with
police may be among the last, rather than first, resorts of a society in
tatters. Will people construct healthy communities in the future if they’ve
never actually seen one?
Unfortunately, analytical debate on these
topics, fails, as ever, to get off the ground. We have a brawl instead. It’s
fun and useless, and it’s also nearly home-time, so we get on to another
anecdote. Back up country a while ago with Joan, Jim was reminded just how
remarkable a country this is. “It is a remarkable country that our prime
minister can just walk along a country road with his wife here,” he says,
quoting a policeman who saw him wandering along.
He sees this as a measure of the worth of contemporary society, and probably as far as he is concerned, every day he doesn’t get shot is. It’s only a pity that the real measure is the fact that little afternoons like this still take place at all.
He sees this as a measure of the worth of contemporary society, and probably as far as he is concerned, every day he doesn’t get shot is. It’s only a pity that the real measure is the fact that little afternoons like this still take place at all.
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