This is from the 30 March edition.
The Government is about to reduce uemployment to about half of one per cent. Information leaked to the blogger Dripping Tap advises that Government has decided to replace the lonely, single, slightly deaf Siberian who speaks English with a Scottish penguin speech defect. She is to be released from being the sole call centre person for the Trans Pacific Phone Answering network. Dribble & Puddle & Associates, consultants to Government, have advised John Key to make it compulsory for all phone conversations to be answered by a real live person and this will bring back almost full employment. Blogger Dripping Tap is reliable, but like some in government, suffers memory loss and brain fade.
As always, spelling, punctuation, grammar and logic are exactly as printed in the Waikato Times. Regular readers may notice that the writer’s name and address format has changed but not – hurrah! – anything else.