Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Thoroughly modern Metro

This month’s Metro bills itself as The Money Issue. Cover lines include:
The Really Rich List
A Remuera Money Map
The Best of Luxury Auckland: our $3,684,763.99 shoot
Wealth Lessons from recession
The cover photo is of a hottie with labels showing the prices of her bits of bling:
Sapphire and diamond drop earrings $7450
Tanzanite and diamond ring $24,500
Diamond and white gold cuff $24,350
Lanvin velvet dress $4300
What you can’t see, due to photographer ineptitude (that will be me), is the glorious strapline across the top:
SAVE $2 ONE-TIME SPECIAL PRICE OF ONLY $7.50
Idiots. They should have put the price up $2 to $11.50 and used this strapline:
IF YOU CAN’T AFFORD IT, FUCK OFF
The ACP website says:
Sophisticated and clever, Metro magazine is aimed at readers who care about Auckland.
Click on the Editorial Profile and what do we find?:
Bevan Rapson, Editor
[yada yada]
With its big format, beautiful photography and innovative design, it’s the magazine that every style-conscious Aucklander wants on their coffee table.
That big format went west a year ago. Bevan Rapson has also left the building: this is his last issue, and Simon Wilson has been in the Big Chair for some weeks. ACP really doesn’t get this Internet stuff, does it. Not very sophisticated, not very clever.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

"IF YOU CAN’T AFFORD IT, FUCK OFF"
I don't care what ever you write in the future I can't see you topping that
Raymond F

Cactus Kate said...

Don't give up Raymond.

But twas an excellent call.

Samuel said...

Agreed. The whole piece is spot on but that really seals it.

Stephen Stratford said...

Thank you, Anonymous, Cactus and Samuel. I am having what we call a Sally Field moment.