Tuesday, October 26, 2010

What I’m reading

Matthew Dentith has some Paul Henry-inspired apologetic syllogisms.

Eric Crampton has some JRR Tolkein-inspired Sharkeyisms:
Hobbits are known for their earthy pragmatism. Never interested in grand schemes or lofty ideals so much as in good beer and a good breakfast (and second breakfast, and elevenses, and lunch...). And so New Zealand seemed the right place for filming of The Hobbit.
But if you recall your Tolkien, you’ll remember also that Saruman came to Hobbiton, in disguise and calling himself Sharkey. Sharkey sold the hobbits on a grand scheme – a scheme to share the wealth and make everyone better off. Except the only ones that did well out of it were Sharkey and his gang.
Which leads us to Laurie Anderson and her Sharkeyisms, from her 1984 album Mister Heartbreak:

Chad Taylor too has been reading the Hobbit news and is dismayed to find himself agreeing with Fran O’Sullivan. Chad, it’s nothing to be ashamed of. It happens to many men as they get older.

Simon Hoggart reminisces about English PMs. Margaret Thatcher, he says, was a mistress of the innocent double-entendre:
I recall Thatcher being asked in the Commons about pacifists handing out leaflets outside an army barracks. “I’m sure soldiers will know exactly what they can do with those leaflets!” she said, to outright laughter from the Labour side and surreptitious giggles from the Tories.
At a training centre in Putney, she was introduced to an extremely large youth who was working with a giant wrench. “Goodness,” she said, “I’ve never seen a tool as big as that!”
But Thatcher saved the best of all for her victory tour of the Falkland Islands. She was taken to inspect a large field gun, basically a ride-on lawnmower with a barrel several feet long. It was on a bluff, overlooking a plain on which another Argentine invasion might one day materialise. She admired the weapon, and the soldier manning it asked if she would like to fire a round.
“But mightn’t it jerk me off?” she replied.
Nick Cave outs himself as a fan of King Crimson:
Oh yeah, I love that stuff. They’re a strange group, because they go to places that I don’t really understand. I love the guitar work on Larks Tongues in Aspic, the first three quarters of that album is just blissful.
Hence the blistering guitar solo by Robert Fripp on “Super Heathen Child” on Cave’s new album, Grinderman 2.

Finally, the saddest sentence of the month:
Cindy Crawford takes pole-dancing classes to keep her marriage alive.

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